Today we’re going to share our most memorable diabetes day. You can take this anywhere…. your or your loved one’s diagnosis, a bad low, a bad high, a big success, any day that you’d like to share. (Thanks to Jasmine of Silver-Lined for this topic suggestion.)
“I’m never getting married.”
“Who would want to spend the rest of their lives dealing with low blood sugars?”
“No one will ever think I’m sexy with a pump attached to me.”
“They won’t stick around because they’ll think I’m sick and I’ll die soon.”
Every single one of these thoughts has crossed my mind at some point or another in my lifetime. I was, after all, dumped in 7th grade because of my diabetes. But then, years later, I met him.
Yes, I had dated prior to him.. but nothing that I thought would last. Obviously, those guys weren’t the right person for me – but a lot of my doubts came from the fear of someone not being able to love me and accept me and understand my disease. I honestly couldn’t fathom anyone choosing to have diabetes intrude on their lives each and every day if they didn’t have to. I wasn’t able to imagine myself burdening anyone with my diabetes. I didn’t want anyone to have to live with the consequences of my high blood sugars. I still don’t.
But after getting to know him, even just a little bit – I couldn’t pass up the opportunity to see what could bloom. The first few times we saw each other, I didn’t reveal that I had diabetes. At that point in my life, I wasn’t taking care of myself as well as I should have – so it was much easier to hide than it would be now. I knew I needed to tell him though, and give him the opportunity to walk away.
We were at my house cooking dinner when I decided to drop the diabetes bomb. I sat him down at the table and explained to him as best as I could – what diabetes is, what I do to take care of myself, the fact that I’ll have it the rest of my life. A few nods of his head and a couple questions later, he was ready to get back to cooking. It seemed like nothing to him.
What I learned later is that when he went home that night, he did research. He learned about the complications I could face and more about what everyday life is like. And then, he didn’t walk away.
He’s been by my side ever since, cheering me on, helping me out of bad lows (while helping himself to glucose tablet ‘candy’), changing my pump sets and soothing my fears. He’s a huge reason I’m in such good control today. He’s knowledgeable, patient and compassionate. He gets more excited about seeing a PWD in the wild than I do sometimes. He has become my biggest supporter and my best friend. He helps me laugh about this disease, and he lets me cry.
So, what seemed like a very scary diabetes moment (telling someone I wanted to be with about my chronic disease) turned into something I could never imagine, and I’m so thankful that I faced my fears.