Forgive my hiatus. We can call it a blog-sabbatical. Life has been absolutely insane over the past couple months, and that’s probably all I’ll say about that. I don’t have a smart phone anymore in hopes that we could save a little money every month, but it’s really hard to stay connected DOC-wise without one (twitter, anyone?). Also, my computer has given me the ‘blue screen of death’ multiple times in the past few weeks, so I don’t really have a reliable blogging outlet at the time. It keeps telling me that it’s CPU usage is at 100% so it’s shutting down to save itself. I think that’s why I haven’t been blogging, too – my brain has been at 100% usage for a while – simplifying life has been my equivalent of a blue screen.
So I went to the endo last month. It was a visit that I wasn’t particularly excited about. It used to be that I was NEVER excited about the endo (not that I usually throw a party or anything) but over the past few years, I’ve seen my A1C improve, so it’s been nice to get a little pat on the back as it continued to come down. This time, though – I knew it wasn’t going to be better than three months ago.
Let me preface by saying I’m a firm believer that NO ONE should EVER be judged by their A1C. We all do the best we can with what we have at this particular moment – and that’s that. Life: one A1C reading at a time. I’ve experienced many, many A1Cs in the double digits. Nothing I can do to change it, except to work harder for next time. About a year ago, though, I finally had my first A1C in the 6’s. Last visit I was at 6.1. I can be proud of that. It’s hard effing work.
Last month, I went up a half a point to 6.6. Still, not shabby – but I was disappointed about the increase. My endo is really great with the psychology of it all. She told me I was crazy if I wasn’t happy about that. She told me “Relax, Carlyn. You can’t stress yourself out about every number. You know, it’s about quality of life, too. You need to ease up on yourself.”
True story. She followed up by saying that this wasn’t the green light to stop caring – she doesn’t want me to be reckless. But I think she could see my next wrinkle creeping onto my forehead. She knew I was over thinking every last number – and eventually, it was going to cause me to enter full blow burnout mode.
Remember – I’m not a medical doctor. For me, at this very moment, I’m needing to take a step back – but it might not be the right thing to do for everyone. Talk to your doctor if you’re feeling overwhelmed and work out a plan that will benefit YOU in the long run.
As I’ve taken my step back, I’ve seen my control improve – probably because I’m not feeling so much pressure, which equals less stress, thus lower sugars (for me, at least). I’ve promised to relax a bit more in all areas of my life. Maybe I’ll see an improvement in my forehead wrinkles too?